Saturday, October 22, 2016

The woman with the alabaster jar

I know I have not been blogging for years. In fact, I am surprised that my blog is still well alive and there are still people reading my blog. I never imagined myself to blog again to be honest, but something significant happened in my life recently that I have to document it.

This week, the Lord has been speaking to me. I have to admit that I have been far from the Lord, spiritually. It as been quite some time since I did my quiet time with Him and just spending intimate moments with Him. And naturally because of that, I have not heard the voice of God for a long time as well. *yes, it's confession time*

It's funny how we can be leaders, be active in ministry, and have countless of church activities and yet feel far from Him. Sometimes we are just so caught up with life, with work, relationship and even church, that we have forgotten the most important thing in life: Our personal relationship with Jesus.

And last Sunday (16th Oct), while playing Fifa15 on the PS3, suddenly I heard God's voice. It's funny how I could hear Him because usually when it comes to playing Fifa, I am very focused and I will not let anything distract me. But the Lord called my name, and I could instantly recognize His voice. This is the voice that I have not heard for a long time, yet it felt the same like in the past: Gentle & loving.

I straight away turn off the PS3, and started to be still before Him. And the Lord asked me "Where am I in your life right now? Do you still love me?" That shook me. Then I told the Lord of course I still do love Him, as I have still been faithfully serving in church, despite feeling tired most of the time. Then He replied "I know all that, but when was the last time you have spent time with Me? Am I still your first love?" All a sudden, I could not answer anymore. I realized something was wrong in my life. Tears just started to flow.

And the Lord led me to the story of the woman with the alabaster jar who anointed Jesus feet with a perfume, a perfume so expensive that it was worth more than a year's wages. It was a sign of total surrender and submission. I can't even imagine giving up something that is worth my annual salary, but the Lord was testing my heart. What is it that I can't let go at the moment? Is it my possessions? Is it my time? Or even, could it be my relationship? Because if there is something that we cannot let go when God ask us to, then that thing has become our idol. It's that simple and straight forward.

And I really started to reflect about my life this week. And by just reading back my old blog posts, I've realized how far I have become. Where is the Jeshua who really loved the Lord with all his heart? Where is the Jeshua who really lived by convictions, and not convenience? Where is the Jeshua that was always hungry to see God move in his life? Where is the Jeshua that was always passionate about ministry, and wanting to see the lost being saved? The list goes on.

And I also can't help but to wonder why I'm no longer the person I used to be. What happened to me? What have really distracted me? This week, these thoughts keep coming to me, and I have been doing some serious heart check. I need to figure that out, and deal with it quickly.

And this song has been playing continuously in my heart since that day when God spoke to me. How far are you willing to go for the Lord? Are you willing to fully surrender to Him? :)

Sunday, January 20, 2013

A revelation of hope

Hey guys! How's 2013 been so far? :)

For me, it has been a horror start.

For the past 2 weeks, I have been struggling with school. Why? Because:

-I have lots of homework and test EVERYDAY.*Exam is a seperate thing*
-Passing mark for test is 80%. 80%!!!!!o.O *if fail, u resit the paper till u pass*
-Have to do corrections, again and again until u get it right. *Not writing the right answer only, but rewrite the whole sentence again*
-I leave the house every morning at 7.15am and get back home earliest by 6.30pm. *that's if public transport is on time and I walk really fast*
-My school is very primary school setting *Eg. no drinking water in class, u have to greet the teacher before every lesson and before she leaves the classroom, teachers fuss over ur handwriting etc*

I can go on and on....

So honestly, I felt like giving up and quiting for the past 2 weeks. Before that, I was so excited about a new life here in KL, continue studying the language I love, and about what God has install for me.

But just after the 1st day of school, I felt like quitting and going back to Penang. This was not the kind of life I expected here. I started to doubt whether I made the right choice to come here. I whine to God everyday about how suffering my life is. It was a stormy 2 weeks.

Yet, God constantly reminded me with these verses:

"My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness" - 12 Corinthians 4:9

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" -Philippians 4:13

And last Wednesday, I actually went to the reception to tell them about my struggles in class and also about me considering to change to the beginner's class. *I couldn't tahan d* Yet, my form teacher said no, that I'm in the right class and that I would be able to cope. Even the principal came to encourage me, saying that it's normal to struggle in the beginning because I'm jumping class, and I'm still not used to the learning method here. They told me I would take roughly 3-4 months to adapt to the same level as my classmates. They asked me not to give up or stress, but just make sure I give my best. My teachers believed in me and that gave me back my confidence.

I immediately knew God was behind the scene. He was actually speaking through my teachers, assuring me that coming to KL, to this school was not a mistake. He is with me, and that He has sent me supportive teachers and classmates.

And in today's service, I felt God speaking to me again. The message was about hope, that we should rejoice in Him always (good and bad times), because of the hope we have in Him. He reminded me about the prophecy He gave me through Pr Sam and Pr Sandra about God will fill me up this year.

Yes now it make sense....Just as Pr Sam preached "as the demand increases, the supply also increases."

I suddenly felt a huge burden lifted off me, and also His peace filling my heart. He said very clearly to me today " I know ur current struggles. And because u can't do it with ur own strength, u are going to witness My grace and power working in and through u. U will learn to rest in me." All that I've learned for the past 4 months through Pr Sam's preaching, I think God is teaching me to put it into practice this year.

Now, I feel refreshed, recharged and excited about what lies ahead. No more fear or anxiety, because victory is on my side.

*Tests, exams and homework, I'm going to take u down!*

Monday, December 31, 2012

A reflection of 2012: A new chapter awaits!

Here we are again....on the last day of the year. Don't u feel that year by year, time passes more and more quickly?

And usually at this time of the year, we take time to reflect on what has happened throughout the year, and also make resolutions for the coming year so we can break again. *HAHA*

But really, how was 2012 for u? For me, 2012 can be summarized into 2 halves, 1st half during my time in Japan and 2nd half back in Malaysia. It was generally a good year for me, especially the 1st half of the year.

1st Half

If u follow me on Facebook, u would have known that I went to Japan for an exchange for 5 months. It was a dream come true, and getting a good scholarship made it even better! :D I had a wonderful time during the exchange, making lots of friends and also challenging my Japanese ability to the fullest.

But things did not become so rosy after that. I'm done with my degree! It was decision time. Whether to continue study? Or start working? Where? What kind of job? All these questions were flying all over my head. But I knew that I wanted to continue to study Japanese, not because I am so in love with studying or Japanese language, but because it would feel like a waste if I just leave it half hanging. Coming back from Japan, I just felt I had the momentum to go on and if I don't continue, I would most likely lose it. And since I majored in it, I just wanted to get the highest proficiency to my ability, whether or not I will eventually use it in my working life in the future.

I looked for Japanese schools around Japan, and the fees were really costly. Of course if I could I wanted to stay on, but I also have to consider my parent's money, now that my brother Jonathan is also in college. Hence I decided to study back in Malaysia since I managed to find an institute that also have roughly the same program as the schools in Japan.

And that leads me to the 2nd half of 2012...

2nd Half

After being away from home for more than 3 years, it takes a while to adjust back ya know. The weather, the traffic here (if u don't know, Penang drivers are CRAZY!!!), and even church. During my time in Australia, I attended Paradise Community Church (now known as Influencer's Church) which I considered home. I loved the worship and the preaching, the vibrancy and the passion, the beliefs and the vision of the church. During those 3 years, I learned and grew so much in the Lord, and also in ministry. I flourished into the person I am today, thanks to my awesome pastors whom guided me and friends whom supported me. Even when I was in Japan, I attended a church that was rather small, but the DNA was similar to my church back in Australia.

Coming back to Penang, I was looking for a church with the same kind of DNA. Just for your info, I grew up in a beautiful baptist church called Georgetown Baptised Church (GBC), since I was a baby right up till my college days. I had wonderful memories there, from acting  in Sunday Schools when I was a little kid right until becoming a leader during my youth days.

But when I came back this time, I felt...different. I realized that all those are sweet memories, but I'm in a different season right now. A season in my life where my needs are different from the time I was there. Cut the long story short, I spoke to Daniel (GBC's youth pastor which I was formerly under) about it, and ask for his blessings. After that, I started looking for a new church....which led me to Exel Point Community Church (EPCC).

Naturally, it took some time for me to adjust to EPCC. Like getting to know new people, new worship songs etc. But 1 thing that made me feel at home was that EPCC had very similar DNA traits to my church back in Australia and Japan. 4 months have passed, and I feel very connected and at home there. I wanna thank God for that!

2 Highlights of 2012
On the 27th of October during campus retreat, I went out for prayer. As Pr Sam was praying for me, he said "Jeshua, I see empty vessels....It's not what u know or can do, but God wanna fill u up again." 
On the 18th of December during youth camp, I responded to 1 of the message preached by Pr Sandra. When Pr Sandra came to pray for me, she said something similar....." Young man, as I was preaching felt in my heart that God has something He wanted me to tell you. I see you have the heart to preach the word of God, but firstly God wants to fill you. He is going to fill you...I see vessels in you."

WOW!!!! After that I was stunned for a while. 2 different pastors at different camps spoke the same thing about me....It surely has to be God speaking!! o.O

Expectations for 2013
What else can I expect after what I just heard? Yes, that 2013 is going to be an exciting faith filled year for me, that God is going to fill me again with His grace and power.

I don't know what sort of year you've had, but I pray that 2013 will be a great year for you. If u had a good year, awesome!! If not, it's ok...Cheer up! Because a new chapter of your life is awaiting. =)

Blessed new year everyone!!! =D

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Placement test starts tmr! o.O

Yes, and I'm still sitting here blogging instead of studying. Lol. But it's not like I did not study before hand....I've done some revision but feel kinda lazy now to study. Haha...

The placement test is actually to examine our Japanese proficiency to know which class to enrol us into. So it's not a do or die thing, in fact I can actually act dumb and they will put me at the easiest level. Haha. But SURELY NOT! That would defeat the whole purpose of me coming here. I still need, and wanna do my best!

It's been almost 2 weeks since I came here and I'm starting to find momentum again. I'm back cooking, doing my glocery shopping and laundry. *Oh yeah! But boo to laundry....I just hate doing laundry!*

And u also start to get more farmiliar with people, the place and etc. I can proudly say I know more vocabulary than the last time I blogged! =P

So far I can say, Ryoda is my best friend here! He's the warden in I-House, my 'Japanese teacher', my friend.

Thanks to him, I've gotten more farmlilar with Nagoya. And of course, my Japanese has also improved because of him!

I would love to blog more but it seems like the internet connection right now is bad, and I need to sleep too. So....Bye peeps! Shall continue next time =D

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Hello Nagoya!

I'm currently sitting here in my room, in Nagoya, Japan, typing this blog as the weather outside is quite gloomy today. Its been around 5 days since I arrived here. How has it been? It's been really exciting, fun yet challenging! Why? Cause everything is in Japanese!!!

For the past 5 days, I remember:
-Checking my phone dictionary in almost every sentences I make during conversation.
-The awkward moment when you and your friend stares blankly at each other, not understanding each other.
-Writing all the new vocabularies I've learn for the day in a book. (on average 10 new vocabs a day!)
-Looking through that book every night before I sleep.

It has been a real challenge for me, since it's the first time that I've used Japanese so often in my life. Back in Australia, it was only 4 hours of class a week and even so, we spoke English most of the time. But now, I'm using Japanese everyday! Each time I step out from my room, I know I will need to switch back to Japanese mode.

Apart from that, it has been REALLY GREAT!!!! People are very kind and friendly, and making new friends are always fun, isn't it? =D

This was the first night at I-House, my dormitory. The caretaker brought some plum liquor and snacks for us, and it was the first time we actually get to know each other!

And also, we had a city tour yesterday by the NUFS(Nagoya University of Foreign Studies) students. We went to the castle and also some shops in the city. The weather was terrible but apart from that, it was great fun!

Toshu, Koroko and Miki, the ones that brought us around.

Although sometimes I do feel a little stressed up when it comes to conversing, reading and even getting farmiliar with this new place, I'm determine to enjoy every moment of it!

Monday, December 5, 2011

I've just experienced another miracle.

So....I went through a period of time where I lost the semangat to blog again. And now I look back, wow 4 months have passed! Semester is over, waiting for results which will be out this Sat. *fingers crossed*

Anyway, the story of today is quite extra ordinary. See....I've been trying to sell my stuff these few days, and my car is 1 of them. So like how I advertised the other stuff, I posted pictures and info of my car on Gumtree last week. Mysteriously, I received an sms from a guys saying he was willing to pay me 700AUD more than the original price I offered (which was 1300$). I felt suspicious initially but I decided to give it a try so I contacted him.

 My car which I am trying to sell....

Cut the whole story short, I received an invoice from Paypal saying he has paid 2600$ to my account, but I'll need to first pay his agent 600$ for the pick up fee because he would not be able to personally come and pick it up. Not suspecting anything, I did it through western union. Somehow, the transaction was declined for some strange reason. Still not suspecting that it was a scam, I went to the post office to make the payment. However, there was not enough money in my account to pay him because my money which was declined haven't bounced back to me. So I thought I would wait till Monday(today) to make the payment.

Last night, my previous lifegroup leader warned me not to make the payment because she said it was a scam! She said her friend and herself have experienced this before and it's fake! I nearly dropped dead when I heard it, fearing that it's too late and the money had gone to him. Today, I checked my account and saw that the money did bounced back to me and the transaction really did not go through. I was overjoyed!

Truly, it is a miracle. Somehow, the money miraculously did not go through for some reason. It was God that intervened. THANK YOU JESUS!

"The LORD will keep you from all harm, He will watch over your life"-Psalm 121:7

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Oxygen Ball 2011

Wow....just a glance and it's Week 6 of uni tomorrow, when my last post was about sem starting. Guess I don't realise the time flying so fast is because it's been such a eventful few weeks, with Oxygen activities every week, work, and studies to juggle with at the same time. Well, the past few Oxygen event was really fun, but last night was the best because it was.......OXYGEN'S 1ST EVER BALL!!!!

Here are some of the pics...*Go to my Facebook to see all the pics!*

 Wing Hang with her little post....

 Amy, Doreen and Claire...3 pretty girls!

Juliana with her cute dimples.....

 Yvonne....U look stunning!

 Natasha....cheerful as always!

Abby....The planner for the whole event. The one behind all the set up and deco. She was brilliant! And of course, Abby u look awesome!

Now for some good looking guys.....

 Yew Gene, Jeremy, Kavi and Caleb....Don't they look good?

 Hanxzen and Zack....Bros of life!

Oxygen Ball committee 2011....Congrats guys, we did it! =)

Phew, finally everything is over! All the planning and stressing before that but it was all worth it. Really enjoyed myself and I'm sure everyone did!