Saturday, June 25, 2011

Gossiping v Confiding

 “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.” -Proverbs 11:13

Have you ever wondered what's the difference between gossiping and confiding? If I have a problem with A, and I share it to B, is that gossiping? Or confiding?

 This picture calls it "networking". In other words, "fellowship". What about you? What do you say?

You see, my whole life I have been trying to work out what gossiping really is. And I thank God that He finally revealed the answer to me when I came to Australia.

When I was young I used to think that gossip is all about "spreading fake rumours". If you check the dictionary, it will tell you this.

So I gave myself the right to say what I want about others, what I feel about others, as long as it's true. No, not because I enjoy doing it or to make myself feel good, but because I love truth and love speaking the truth. I was just being very transparent in my thoughts and actions. So I just shared them without thinking who I was sharing it to, where I was sharing it etc. Was I gossiping? YES. *What a joke, doing something I actually hate without realising. I was a hypocrite all these years, yet I used to condemn hypocrites*

In 2009, Pr Ashley preached about this topic. He said "Gossip means saying something about others behind their back, EVEN IF IT'S TRUE." *Ouch, that was like a tight slap on my face*

After that message, I understood gossip as "talking bad about others, even if it's true."  Thus, I stop sharing my thoughts, my relationship struggles, my conflict problems with anyone because I didn't wanna gossip. As someone that always claims he hates gossip, I really did not want to be a hypocrite again.

Did I do the right thing? NO. I was actually suffering inside, felt like I was dying. *And I'm sure you know that feeling*

Couldn't tahan anymore, I spoke to my LG leader. I remember he said "WHY ARE YOU TORMENTING YOURSELF LIKE THIS?!?Why didn't you tell me earlier?I am always here to help you!" I said "Because I didn't wanna gossip about others." Lol. He told me "What your doing now is confiding, not gossiping."

That was like a breakthrough for me and I finally understood the difference between gossiping and confiding.

Here's the difference:

-often gossip to kill time (too free, too bored).
-have the goal of building themselves up by making others look bad by sharing their weaknesses, faults, private information etc.
-share the information with anyone/all their friends, often in a group and publicly via facebook, blog etc.
-gossip because they love it.

-confide because there is a relationship problem (housemates, friends, family etc) they are struggling with.
-have the intention of resolving the problem by seeking advice.
-only share the information with someone they are accountable to (leaders, close family members, best/close friends), and they usually do it 1 on 1 or in a private manner.
-confide because it's necessary.

Sometimes, there are situations where we want to warn out friends about a particular person. Say....A is very hamsap (means pervert in cantonese). And I know about it. I have a duty/responsibility to warn my friend about A, if she doesn't know that. So what do I say? Just say what is necessary.

Basically, just try to tell her that she should be more careful because A is known to be a hamsap, by revealing his past actions/behaviour as little as possible!

"29 They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are GOSSIPS,..." -Romans 1:29

Gossiping is evil in God's eyes. Fact.

I am not perfect, and I'm still learning. But that doesn't change the fact that I love truth, and I hate gossips.

Just wanna end this post with this beautiful song. Thank you Lord, for always teaching and guiding me. Make me Your sanctuary, and keep me from evil, always.

I hope you have been blessed by this post :)

Thursday, June 23, 2011

1 bizzare injury

I just found out during the weekend that my bro fractured his wrist because of......FUTSAL! OH MY GOODNESS. Only God knows how did it happened!

My bro and my niece (My cousin's daughter. Preeetty right? DON'T DREAM. She's most probably too young for you, definitely too young for this! Lol :P)

My bro said that as he was trying to control the ball, he accidentally stepped on it and fall. That was how it happened. But still, to fracture a wrist because of soccer still baffles me. Everyone is amazed by how it happened.

In the hospital, the first thing he asked the doctor was "Will I still be able to go to the gym?". Lol...Not whether he can write or not, or whether he can drive. It's all about GYM!

VERY GOOD bro. Maybe God let this happen so that u will focus on Him more! Maybe gym has overtaken God as your 1st love. Very good. MC for....1 month huh? No gym or computer games for 1 solid month. Wooo I can use this month to overtake u in body building while you better/should use this time to DIG DEEP IN GOD'S WORD. *big bro talking*

Anyway, recover soon and please, don't be such a injury prone la. Enjoy ur little "holiday" and take care!


Monday, June 20, 2011

Happy Father's Day to my dearest father!

Wow, it's my 1st time blogging twice in a day. But have to lar....It's Father's Day today (yesterday actually cos already pass midnight)!

I was just looking for a picture of just me and my dad and to my horror, I realised I don't have any recent picture! Omg! I have not taken a picture with just my dad since end of 2007! HOW TERRIBLE IS THAT!?!I definitely must take a picture with him again when I go back this time!!

Me and my dad at Melaka, 2007

This is the latest picture of him, in Singapore end of 2010.

He's awesome. Just 3 points I can draw out to summarise him.

He's a man after God's heart
He makes sure me and my siblings go to church every week when we were young (even now, although he doesn't have to do that anymore lol). No compromise. No such thing as lazy, exams or cannot wake up. It's better you be there or you're gonna makan rotan later. He also makes sure we have family devotions every Sunday night (kinda like a family lifegroup thingy). Which means he will lead worship then later he or my mum will lead some bible study, then pray. I will always remember what he tells us since young "There is no greater honour than to serve the Lord, our God"  

He's a romantic
No I'm serious. He can be the sweetest guy alive when he has the mood. He will always tell us "your mum is the Rachel of my life". Every Valentine's day, my dad will send flowers to my mum though a company that deals with this. Can you imagine when my mum is in school, all a sudden there would be someone that comes in and say "Hi. Someone sent you these flowers." in front of all her staff?!?When my parents celebrated their 20th anniversary of marriage, he kinda wrote down a short speech of love and gratitude and read it to my mum during dinner. He beats Romeo anytime.

Dad and mum when they celebrated their 20th anniversary in 2008

He's a family man
I remember when me and my bro was still little, he would bring us to go hike Penang hill every Sunday. And when we were older, he would spend time playing football with us. Sometimes, it's just 3 of us but we had so much fun. He always tells us that he would not exchange anything else in this world for his family.

 Family trip to Melaka in December, 2010

And yes, he would often play his guitar and sing to us this song when we were little kids titled "Child"....

....and make 3 of us cry....LOL. Even now, I do still get teary sometimes when I hear this song because each time I hear this, I remember my dad, his love for us and the family.

It's because of him, I'm the person I am today.

Thank you for all the love, care and discipline you gave me. All the values and principles of life you've taught me throughout my life.

I love you pup, always :)

Farewell to a good friend :(

Today was actually quite a sad day for me because I saw my very good friend, Keat Xiong for the last time in church before him going back to Malaysia for good tomorrow.

 Me and Keat Xiong.

Thinking of it, it's funny how we were strangers 4 months back. I remembered us introducing ourselves for the 1st time at the beginning of March during 1 Oxygen (Just for ur info, Oxygen is the name of Paradise's International Students Ministry) meeting. Then later on, we started playing futsal together with the other boys...then somehow gradually, BOOM! We're really good friends now.

It's funny how guys can click so fast right? Guys just need to do something they like together then somehow, they become friends really fast.

Fast forward 4 months later and wow, it's time to say goodbye. How sad?

Never imagine that would happen when I first met him. He said he would be staying here and all....all a sudden, he is going back for good. Part of life isn't it? Life is just unpredictable.

Anyway, I just want to thank you Keat Xiong for being such a good friend to me. Also thanks for being the only friend that agreed to watch football together with me at 4am *haha*. Although it was just 4 months, it felt like we have known each other for a long time.

May God continue to bless you and direct your path. Keep in touch bro! :)

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

A beautiful night!

It was supposed to look like this.....

But this was the best shot I had.


It was hard to take cos my camera is not good enough for sky shots. Stilll.....

It was my first time witnessing the moon with a halo around it. What a beautiful night!:)

3 When I consider your heavens,
   the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
   which you have set in place,
4 what is mankind that you are mindful of them, 
   human beings that you care for them?                     -Psalms 8:3-4

Monday, June 13, 2011

14 days to exam.

Yes it is. I've finally managed to get my last assignment out of the way 2 days ago, so it's all about focusing on exams now.

I managed to study 6 hours today, the first day of my study marathon. Not bad eh? So I should give myself a pat on the back. *pats* I need to create some momentum so by next week, I'll be in full gear!

I know I can do it. I will give my best. 加油 Jeshua!

Friday, June 10, 2011

A romantic relationship at its best.

As I've said, I would blog about last night's BGR talk we had in lifegroup. Well....Xiao Wen and Judah spoke so much that they could not even cover all the questions. It was really a big topic and it would be impossible for me to write everything down here. However, I will still write down the highlights for me personally, those that I've felt I've learn something new.....

1) How do you know if you have met the right person? 

*drum rolling*...........Cheng! The answer is "YOU'LL NEVER KNOW". Lol....I'm just writting down exactly what Judah did and said last night, including those sound effect! Ya, we'll never know. That's the real answer. Even for Judah and Xiao Wen as pastors, they don't know whether they are the right one for each other until today! How surprising is that? Well, I was surprise to be honest. Because we always think that there is this "right" guy or girl or "THE ONE" out there for us. They said that in life, there will always be "if"s and "but"s and you usually start to doubt about your partner during tough times. So instead of asking that question, they rather choose to thank God for each other and trust God in their relationship.

2)How do you know if you are in the wrong relationship?
Well, they said that one of the signs is that the person you once knew is no longer the person u know after the relationship. Say for example....I'm a cheerful person. But after being in this relationship, I am no longer cheerful. Or....I'm once an outgoing person. But after dating this girl, I'm no longer outgoing. Basically, the things (characteristics, personality, convictions, hobby, passion etc) that makes you YOU disappears after being in that relationship. Another sign is that you are now further away from God after in that relationship compared to the time when you were still single. Basically, it means that your relationship is not helping you in your spiritual growth with God. In a relationship, both the guy and girl should push and help each other upwards in their growth with God, not drag each other down. And all it takes is 1 side in the relationship that is not strong in God (or does not know God) to drag the other side down. Thus, they emphasize that it is so very important to find a God fearing person, someone who loves God with all his/her heart.

3) Is it ok to just give it a try first in a relationship and see whether it works? 
NO. It was a direct answer from them. There is no such thing as "I'm just trying it out" or "just testing." It's either a "yes", which means a 100% committed relationship, including giving your 100% heart or a "no". I have always wondered, since people like me have a bad experience before, it would not be easy to give 100% in the next relationship because of the fear of getting hurt again. So maybe, I should just start of with 70% first, then gradually to 100% when I feel more confident. NO! NO SUCH THING JESHUA! *Oh I see* Firstly because, it would not be fair to your partner and secondly, Judah said that when both parties don't give their 100%, they are making their relationship more vulnerable to failure and they will not be able to experience their romantic relationship to the fullest. So don't play play.....choose carefully!

To sum everything up about last night, here is an analogy:

A loving relationship is like a triangle. If the guy/girl is moving towards the other person who is running towards God, he/she is never going to reach her/him. If the boy and the girl both move horizontally towards each other, they may reach one another – but they won’t be moving towards God, which is unhealthy. BUT… If both the guy and the girl are running towards God, then, eventually, when the time is right, they will meet at the top of the triangle, with God as the foundation of their relationship. And with God at the center of their relationship, they will be able to experience the best possible relationship God designed it to be.

Sorry my dear friends if some of these points are hitting at you. Well, I felt some of the points discussed last night kinda changed my perspectives on dating relationships. It makes me think deeper about what a romantic relationship is all about.

Well, these are facts, and these are the truth. The truth may hurt, but I rather be hurt by the truth now than to face the consequences for the rest of my life.

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” -John 8:32

Ahhhh.....Love is so sweet, love is such a beautiful thing. Just need to be patient until the right time comes! =)

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

BGR talk at life group tomorrow!

Just for your info, BGR means Boy Girl Relationship if u don't know. Hahaha...interesting topic right? IT ALWAYS IS!!!

It has been a long time since the last BGR talk I've had in church/life group. I think the last time I had one was when I was back in Malaysia. I always love it when my pastors/leaders lead some BGR topics because these people will teach how to be in a Godly relationship, not just a romantic one. They can give lots of advice that I find it personally useful.

Looking around, and seeing so many people ending up heart broken after break ups these days just keeps me on my toes. Yes, I've kinda experienced it before. And I know how painful it is. And I've told myself that I would never wanna experience that again if possible. And honestly, I rather be single than to be in a wrong relationship.

Anyway, Xiao Wen will be leading the talk tomorrow! I'm really looking forward to hear what she has to say....and hopefully, some of the questions I have will answered!

I'll blog about what I've learned after tomorrow's discussion so stay tuned if you're interested! *which I'm sure you are! :P*

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Zack's surprise birthday party.

I have been looking forward towards this party after going through some really crazy stressful weeks. I knew it would be a great time to chill out with friends and sure, it did not disappoint!!

This party was actually a surprise party for Zack, who celebrated his first birthday in Australia! Wanna know how he looks like?

Tada!!! This picture sums him up! Hahaha....

Well here are some of the pictures from the party!

I said "Amy! Amy!" because she was blocking the view of the food. She pulak smile at the camera. Lol...

We had a fun time playing cards together! Played "chor die di" which is also known as "Big 2" and bluff. During the chor die di game, Yean Yee started a rivalry with me. It all started with that kiasu/evil/sarcastic face which we were showing each other throughout the game. Haha....And I won twice! Once when she was playing with me and the rest. Woohooo....Sorry Yean Yee, u gotta try much harder next time! =P *Evil laugh*

No la, playing only! :D We are all good friends...see the lovely pictures above? All the leng chyes and leng luis!

Anyway, more pictures.....

Me and Keat Xiong during the game....

 The trio bros doing what they do best....

 And finally! 2 pictures of me and the birthday boy.


Ahh....feels less stress after tonight! And more to come....Karaoke this Sunday with Joyce, Jay Chou's wife (she claims she is lol), Yean Yee, Yuan Ren, Doreen and Timothy! Can't wait!

Wooohoooo :D