Friday, June 10, 2011

A romantic relationship at its best.

As I've said, I would blog about last night's BGR talk we had in lifegroup. Well....Xiao Wen and Judah spoke so much that they could not even cover all the questions. It was really a big topic and it would be impossible for me to write everything down here. However, I will still write down the highlights for me personally, those that I've felt I've learn something new.....

1) How do you know if you have met the right person? 

*drum rolling*...........Cheng! The answer is "YOU'LL NEVER KNOW". Lol....I'm just writting down exactly what Judah did and said last night, including those sound effect! Ya, we'll never know. That's the real answer. Even for Judah and Xiao Wen as pastors, they don't know whether they are the right one for each other until today! How surprising is that? Well, I was surprise to be honest. Because we always think that there is this "right" guy or girl or "THE ONE" out there for us. They said that in life, there will always be "if"s and "but"s and you usually start to doubt about your partner during tough times. So instead of asking that question, they rather choose to thank God for each other and trust God in their relationship.

2)How do you know if you are in the wrong relationship?
Well, they said that one of the signs is that the person you once knew is no longer the person u know after the relationship. Say for example....I'm a cheerful person. But after being in this relationship, I am no longer cheerful. Or....I'm once an outgoing person. But after dating this girl, I'm no longer outgoing. Basically, the things (characteristics, personality, convictions, hobby, passion etc) that makes you YOU disappears after being in that relationship. Another sign is that you are now further away from God after in that relationship compared to the time when you were still single. Basically, it means that your relationship is not helping you in your spiritual growth with God. In a relationship, both the guy and girl should push and help each other upwards in their growth with God, not drag each other down. And all it takes is 1 side in the relationship that is not strong in God (or does not know God) to drag the other side down. Thus, they emphasize that it is so very important to find a God fearing person, someone who loves God with all his/her heart.

3) Is it ok to just give it a try first in a relationship and see whether it works? 
NO. It was a direct answer from them. There is no such thing as "I'm just trying it out" or "just testing." It's either a "yes", which means a 100% committed relationship, including giving your 100% heart or a "no". I have always wondered, since people like me have a bad experience before, it would not be easy to give 100% in the next relationship because of the fear of getting hurt again. So maybe, I should just start of with 70% first, then gradually to 100% when I feel more confident. NO! NO SUCH THING JESHUA! *Oh I see* Firstly because, it would not be fair to your partner and secondly, Judah said that when both parties don't give their 100%, they are making their relationship more vulnerable to failure and they will not be able to experience their romantic relationship to the fullest. So don't play play.....choose carefully!

To sum everything up about last night, here is an analogy:

A loving relationship is like a triangle. If the guy/girl is moving towards the other person who is running towards God, he/she is never going to reach her/him. If the boy and the girl both move horizontally towards each other, they may reach one another – but they won’t be moving towards God, which is unhealthy. BUT… If both the guy and the girl are running towards God, then, eventually, when the time is right, they will meet at the top of the triangle, with God as the foundation of their relationship. And with God at the center of their relationship, they will be able to experience the best possible relationship God designed it to be.

Sorry my dear friends if some of these points are hitting at you. Well, I felt some of the points discussed last night kinda changed my perspectives on dating relationships. It makes me think deeper about what a romantic relationship is all about.

Well, these are facts, and these are the truth. The truth may hurt, but I rather be hurt by the truth now than to face the consequences for the rest of my life.

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” -John 8:32

Ahhhh.....Love is so sweet, love is such a beautiful thing. Just need to be patient until the right time comes! =)


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  2. You are most welcome! I'm glad you have gotten something out of this artical and feel very encouraged by that!